EYESONUSA.ORG INVESTIGATING JOE BIDEN: A PARODY

EYESONUSA: HI, ALMOST PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN. THANKS FOR SHOWING UP HERE. IF YOU GIVE US THE RIGHT ANSWERS TO THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS, IT WILL BE FAST IN LETTING YOU GO. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

Biden: Yes.

EYESONUSA: OK. CAN YOU GIVE YOUR FULL NAME?

Biden: President Joe Biden.

EYESONUSA.ORG: FIRST OF ALL, IT ‘AIN’T PRESIDENT, YET. SECONDLY, DON’T YOU HAVE A MIDDLE NAME?

Biden: Sure, I do!

EYESONUSA: WHAT IS IT THEN?

Biden: Robinette.

EYESONUSA: ARE YOU BEING FUNNY?

Biden: No, sir! It’s really Robinette.

EYESONUSA: ANY OTHER NAMES?

Biden: Yes, sir.

EYESONUSA: WELL, WHAT ARE THEY?

Biden: Well, sir, my last one is Jr.

EYESONUSA: OK. IT IS JOE ROBINETTE BIDEN, JR. IS THAT ALL? IS THERE MORE?

Biden: Nope, sir; that’s all.

EYESONUSA: WHAT ABOUT YOUR WIFE?

Biden: My first or my second wife, sir?

EYESONUSA: THE FIRST WIFE.

Biden: My first wife was Neilia Hunter Biden. I was married to her from 1966 to 1972. She and my daughter died in a car accident. I don’t want to talk about it any further!

EYESONUSA: WELL, WE ARE AWFULLY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. LET’S MOVE ON THEN.

EYESONUSA: THE SECOND WIFE?

Biden: She is named Jill Biden.

EYESONUSA: DID DR. BIDEN GIVE YOU ANY CHILDREN?

Biden: Well, I have four children from both wives: Hunter, Ashley, Naomi and Beau. Both Naomi and Beau have died.

EYESONUSA: LET’S MOVE ON TO A MORE UPLIFTING TOPIC, WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO THE GOOD OLD TIMES. WHEN WERE YOU BORN?

Biden: I’m 78 years old and I was born on November 20, 1940 in Scranton, PA.

EYESONUSA: LET ME GET SERIOUS. YOU WERE A LONG-TIME SENATOR, THAT LASTED 47 YEARS.

Biden: Yes, that will be about 47 years.

EYESONUSA: THEN YOU BECAME OBAMA’S VICE PRESIDENT?

Biden: Oh, yes…for eight years.

EYESONUSA: THEN, YOU HAVE RUN FOR PRESIDENT?

Biden: I am the 47th president of this magical United States of America!

EYESONUSA: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE IN AMERICA ALL THOSE YEARS.

Biden: Ah, I’ve done a lot!

EYESONUSA: ALL PERFECTLY GOOD?

Biden: Well, I thought I did very good.

EYESONUSA: AS VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN, YOU WERE OBAMA’S RIGHT HAND PERSON, WEREN’T YOU?

Biden: Yes, sir.

EYESONUSA: WHAT DID YOU DO FOR HIM?

Biden: I did everything he asked me to do.

EYESONUSA: EVERYTHING HE TOLD OR ORDERED YOU TO DO?

Biden: Oh, yes, sir. He was the boss.

EYESONUSA: SINCE OBAMA WAS THE BOSS AND YOU ANSWERED TO HIM DIRECTLY, DID HE EVER FIRE YOU?

Biden: Oh, no. He would not fire me!

EYESONUSA: WOULD OBAMA FIRE YOU IF HE KNEW YOU WERE INVOLVED IN ANY MISCONDUCT?

Biden: Well, no. He knew I wouldn’t be doing anything bad. I followed him!

EYESONUSA: WELL, WE WILL FOLLOW UP AND LEAVE THAT FOR SOMETIME LATER.

EYESONUSA: YOU DID EVERYTHING THAT OBAMA WAS ORDERING YOU TO DO, BOTH IN THE USA AND OUT OF THE USA?

Biden: That was the way I handled it.

EYESONUSA: SO BOTH OF THEM WERE HANDLED THE SAME WAY.

Biden: I was President Obama’s Vice President for eight years and the best way to work with him was to follow his orders!

(EYESONUSA.ORG WILL SEE THAT THE FOLLOWING PERSONS WILL BE CHARGED WITH:

  1. OBAMA: WHAT HE WAS CHARGED WITH – WHAT SENTENCING COULD HE GET-RICO, OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE, FRAUD, CRIMINAL NEGLIGENCE, ETC.
  2. HILLARY CLINTON, BILL CLINTON AND MANY OTHERS: WHAT THEY COULD BE CHARGED WITH AND GET-OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE, FRAUD, CRIMINAL NEGLIGENCE, ETC.)

IN THE TWO BOOKS WE WILL DISCUSS, WE FOUND THESE PEOPLE’S NAMES: OBAMA, HILLARY AND YOU, JOE BIDEN AND OTHERS. WE WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU SEVERAL QUESTIONS ABOUT THEM TO SEE HOW YOU RESPOND. THE FIRST AUTHOR IS KATIE PAVLICH AND HER BOOK IS “FAST AND FURIOUS: BARACK OBAMA’S BLOODIEST SCANDAL AND ITS SHAMELESS COVER-UP”. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF HER OR READ IT OR HAVE YOU HEARD OF IT?

Biden: Well, I’ve never heard of her at all!

EYESONUSA: WELL, DID YOU EVER HEAR OF OBAMA BEING FEATURED IN THAT BOOK?

Biden: Well, no.

EYESONUSA: EVER HEARD OF HILLARY CLINTON, WHO IS ALSO IN THE BOOK?

Biden: Well, not even Ms Hillary Clinton in the book.

EYESONUSA: THAT’S HARD TO BELIEVE, SINCE THEY WERE PROMINENT IN THE BOOK.

Biden: Well, I was a very hard person to find in those eight years; you know, Obama had been giving out the orders.

EYESONUSA: DID YOU HEAR OF BORDER PATROL AGENT BRIAN TERRY?

Biden: Well, I can’t remember him!

EYESONUSA: HE WAS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THE BOOK!

Biden: In my memory, he would not have been the main memory in any book.

EYESONUSA: WELL, YOU HAVEN’T HEARD OF MS PAVLICH, WHEN SHE WROTE THE BOOK; WAS THE PERSON ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT IT?

Biden: No, Obama was the only one I had to follow and not Brian Terry.

EYESONUSA: DID YOU GET OBAMA TO HAVE kATIE PAVLICH ARRESTED? SEEMS LIKE OBAMA WOULD GIVE THE ORDERS TO YOU OR YOU WOULD HAVE HEARD THEM?

Biden: No, no, I was kept very busy in the USA and the world.

EYESONUSA: WELL, MS PAVLICH, AS WELL AS HER BOOK, WAS REGARDED FAVORABLY IN THE WORLD AND THE USA. YOU, JOE BIDEN, WOULD HAVE ARRESTED HER THOUGH!

Biden: Well, I guess I had too much going on and I failed to see a thing I had to do!

EYESONUSA: WELL, WE WILL GET TO THAT LATER ON.

EYESONUSA: NOW, I’M GOING TO BE SERIOUS, MR. BIDEN. I’M GOING TO ASK YOU QUESTIONS ON A BOOK AND OTHER THINGS. THE BOOK IS JOHN SOLOMON AND SEAMUS BRUNER’S “FALLOUT”. DID YOU GET THEM ARRESTED?

Biden: No, I didn’t, because I haven’t read it yet.

EYESONUSA: SO, YOU HAVEN’T READ THE BOOK AND THEREFORE YOU HAVEN’T HAD THEM ARRESTED YET?

Biden: No, I haven’t done either.

EYESONUSA: WELL, MR. BIDEN, AFTER YOU READ IT, YOU MIGHT DO ONE OR THE OTHER: CHARGE THEM WITH LIBEL OF A CRIMINALITY!

EYESONUSA: HERE GOES, MR. BIDEN. ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU HAVEN’T READ “FALLOUT”?

Biden: No, you’ve already asked me that with your first question.

EYESONUSA: I KNOW THAT. I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU MORE TIME, IF YOU WANTED TO CHANGE YOUR MIND.

Biden: No, I said I already answered your questions!

EYESONUSA: ONE LAST TIME. YOU’RE SURE THAT YOU HAVEN’T RESPONDED TO IT INCORRECTLY?

Biden: No, for the third time. I haven’t read those books!

EYESONUSA: THEY ARE VERY GOOD BOOKS.

EYESONUSA: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN INVESTIGATED?

Biden: No, I never have been investigated in my 47 years.

EYESONUSA: DID YOU EVER PLAGIARIZE? DID YOU EVER DO A EULOGY FOR A KU KLUX KLAN MEMBER? WELL, WE WILL GET BACK TO THAT. HAS OBAMA, HILLARY, BILL CLINTON OR ANYONE ELSE BEEN INVESTIGATED IN THE LAST 15 YEARS?

Biden: No one that I know of in those years.

EYESONUSA: HOW ABOUT DONALD TRUMP?

Biden: Oh, I felt you were talking about the Democrats! I know that Trump has been investigated the last four years.

EYESONUSA: HAS HE BEEN FOUND GUILTY OF ANYTHING IN THE LAST FOUR YEARS? HAS HE BEEN FOUND GUILTY AND SENT TO PRISON YET? DO YOU EXPECT DONALD TRUMP TO BE FOUND GUILTY AND SENT TO PRISON?

Biden: I don’t know.

EYESONUSA: THESE FIRST PARAGRAPHS ARE THE EASIEST AND THEY GET HARDER. ARE YOU READY?

Biden: Well, yes. I’m ready.

EYESONUSA: ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH SPECIAL COUNSEL ROBERT MUELLER, WHO FAILED TO MAKE THE CASE OF OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE AGAINST YOU, JOE BIDEN?

Biden: This is the first I’ve heard of it.

EYESONUSA: SO, YOU’RE SAYING THIS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU HAVE HEARD OF MUELLER AND THE CASE OF OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE?

Biden: Yes. That’s what I’m saying.

EYESONUSA: WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS? DID YOU PRESS THE RED RESET BUTTON?

Biden: Uh, no. That was Obama or Hillary of Michael McFaul.

EYESONUSA: WE’RE GOING TO MOVE ON TO THE NEXT QUESTION. DID YOU SAY, “Our national security interests balance tips heavily not creating a flap.”?

Biden: No, Obama said it. He also said, “We blow up the relationship.”

EYESONUSA: NOW WE SAY, IT’S HARD TO DISTINGUISH WHAT YOU SAY AND OTHERS SAY. LET’S GO ON TO ANOTHER SUBJECT, MR. BIDEN.

EYESONUSA: OK, MR. BIDEN. LET ME ASK YOU. YOU SAID YOU ARE VERY FAMILIAR WITH THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION, OBVIOUSLY. SO, LET ME GET A LITTLE CLOSER. YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH HILLARY CLINTON, JOHN KERRY, JOHN BRENNAN, JAMES CLAPPER, SUSAN RICE AND FORMER FBI DIRECTOR JAMES COMEY? ANSWER THE QUESTION.

Biden: I’m very close with these people.

EYESONUSA: WELL, WE’LL GET TO THAT QUESTION LATER. BY THE WAY, HOW FAMILIAR ARE YOU WITH RUSSIA?

Biden: Well, not too familiar with Russia.

EYESONUSA: GEORGE SOROS, JOE BIDEN AND HUNTER BIDEN. OK, MR. BIDEN. I’M GOING TO BE ASKING YOU THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS OF THIS INVESTIGATION. YOU SHOULD KNOW THE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS ON PAGES 173 TO 196, EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE NOT READ THE BOOK, “FALLOUT”.

Biden: I’m sure I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I’ll try and give you some answers.

EYESONUSA: WELL, MR. BIDEN. DID YOU EVER COMMENT IN THE BOOK, “FALLOUT”, TO THE COUNCIL ON FOREIGN RELATIONS ABOUT GETTING THE UKRAINIAN PROSECUTOR FIRED IN JANUARY, 2018?

Biden: Well, uh, I could have, but I’m not sure.

EYESONUSA: YOU SEEM NOT TO REMEMBER VERY MUCH, BUT I’M SURE YOU WILL REMEMBER THIS. ISN’T HUNTER BIDEN YOUR SON?

Biden: Yeah, sure. He’s my son and I’m proud of him.

EYESONUSA: DID YOUR SON, HUNTER, DO ANYTHING WITH YOU IN UKRAINE?

Biden: Not much!

EYESONUSA: PRESIDENT OBAMA TAPPED YOU TO BE THE UKRAINE POINT MAN AND YOU WERE CALLED “THE MARRIAGE COUNSELOR” TO RESOLVE ANYTHING WITH POLITICAL DIFFERENCES.

Biden: I wasn’t a marriage counselor.

EYESONUSA: YOU’RE A PRETTY DIFFICULT MAN TO INVESTIGATE.

EYESONUSA: HUNTER BIDEN WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS. HOWEVER, HE WILL ANSWER TO THE GRAND JURY. BUT I WILL ASK YOU A QUESTION. IS HUNTER AN ATTORNEY?

Biden: Yes, he is.

EYESONUSA: DID HUNTER DO MUCH READING?

Biden: Well, of course he did!

EYESONUSA; WELL, IF HE IS AN ATTORNEY AND HE DID A LOT OF READING, YOU AND HE ARE NOT VERY GOOD ATTORNEYS, BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T READ THE TWO BOOKS THAT WE MENTIONED, THAT CAME OUT IN 2012 AND 2020. DON’T ANSWER NOW.

EYESONUSA: NOW, LET ME ASK YOU ANOTHER QUESTION. BASED ON THE TOTAL LACK OF EVIDENCE, DO YOU THINK PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP SHOULD HAVE BEEN IMPEACHED? AFTER ALL, YOU DEMANDED THAT THE UKRAINIAN PROSECUTOR BE FIRED. ISN’T THAT AN ABUSE OF POWER?

Biden: He was guilty and should have been impeached.

EYESONUSA: ON FEBRUARY 5TH, 2020, PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS ACQUITTED BY THE SENATE ON BOTH CHARGES, THAT HAD BEEN LEVELED AGAINST HIM BY HOUSE MANAGERS, ACCORDING TO “FALLOUT”.

Biden: Well, Trump should have been found guilty by the Senate.

EYESONUSA: WERE YOU INVOLVED WITH A WEB OF PEOPLE: OBAMA, VINDMAN, CHALUPA, CIARAMELLA, GRACE, MISKO, SCHIFF, PELOSI, ETC., WHO ACTIVELY SOUGHT TO BRING DOWN A SITTING PRESIDENT TRUMP, AS WELL AS HIS CAMPAIGN PRIOR TO BEING ELECTED PRESIDENT?

Biden: He should NOT have been president.

EYESONUSA: WELL, MR. BIDEN, WE’RE GETTING MIGHTY CLOSE. BUT I HAVE TO ASK YOU A FEW MORE QUESTIONS. AT THE TIME, WASN’T DONALD TRUMP GOING TO BE IMPEACHED FOR WITHHOLDING FOREIGN AID TO FORCE A DECISION IN UKRAINE? ISN’T THAT CORRECT?

Biden: Uh, you will have to ask former President Obama.

EYESONUSA: SHOULDN’T YOU HAVE BEEN IMPEACHED, TOO, MR. BIDEN? BECAUSE ON 2016, REMEMBER THAT YOU ORDERED THE UKRAINIAN PRESIDENT FIRE THE PROSECUTOR OR LOSE ONE BILLION DOLLARS IN US LOAN GUARANTEES.

Biden: Well, I was still following Obama’s instructions.

EYESONUSA: I’VE GOT ONE THING TO CLARIFY. YOU SAID THAT YOU’VE BEEN A FAVORITE OF PRESIDENT OBAMA.

Biden: Well, that’s what I’ve said more times than you’ve asked!

EYESONUSA: WELL, MR. OBAMA WAS QUOTED AS SAYING, “NEVER UNDERESTIMATE JOE’S ABILITY TO MUCK THING UP!” (Silence)

EYESUNUSA: COULD YOU ANSWER ANY MORE QUESTIONS?

BIDEN: NO.

EYESONUSA: WE HAVE FOUND YOU TO BE A BAD LIAR, A TERRIBLE POLITICIAN AND MARRIED TO DR. JILL. HUNTER IS NOT VERY GOOD EITHER! YOU DIDN’T TELL THE TRUTH TO ANY OF THE QUESTIONS. YOU’RE GOING TO BE ARRESTED, JOE ROBINETTE BIDEN, JR AND SEE THE PEOPLE IN A COURT! WE FEEL YOU SHOULD ACCEPT YOUR CONSEQUENCES! YOU WILL BE CHARGED WITH: BEING A BAD INDIVIDUAL, BEING A FRAUD AND PUTTING YOURSELF IN THE DANGEROUS POSITION OF BEING INFLUENCED BY FOREIGN STATES.

EYESONUSA: WE’LL STATE THIS FIRST: NO PERSON CAN DO A CRIME WITHOUT BEING A CRIMINAL: EQUAL JUSTICE UNDER THE LAW DOUBLE STANDARD, SPECIAL RULES FOR THE “SPECIAL PEOPLE”, WHO BREAK THE LAW, SUCH AS OBAMA, JOE, HILLARY, ET AL. WHY WEREN’T THEY HELD ACCOUNTABLE? DIDN’T THEY COMMIT CRIMINAL ACTS? DEMOCRATS EXCUSE THEIR BEHAVIOR. HOW DO THEY LOOK AT THE BENGHAZI FAMILIES, WITH THE CASKETS RIGHT THERE, LIE AND SAY IT WAS A VIDEO?

EYESONUSA: SO, MR. BIDEN, I WILL TELL YOU THE CHARGES: RICO, FRAUD, EMBEZZLEMENT, LYING, PLAGIARISM, QUID PRO QUO, BUYING INFLUENCE AND ACCEPTING GRATUITIES.

EYESONUSA: NOW, MR. BIDEN. YOU’RE BEING ARRESTED (OFFICERS ENTER THE ROOM AND BEGIN TO ARREST HIM.). THE DEMOCRATS WON’T LET HUNTER, YOUR FAMILY OR YOURSELF BE TRIED, BECAUSE THE DEMOCRATS WON’T LET YOU BE FOUND GUILTY OF ANYTHING THAT YOU GUYS HAVE DONE. THAT’S WHY YOU WILL BE TRIED, NOT BY DEMOCRAT NOR REPUBLICAN COURT, YOU WILL BE TRIED BY THE PEOPLE’S COURT OF USA (PCUSA) AND COMPELLED TO TELL THE TRUTH!

EYESONUSA: THE PEOPLE’S COURT OF THE UNITED STATES (PCUSA) WILL FIND ALL OF YOU SLEAZY, STINKY, SMARMY, SMELLY CRIMINALS, GUILTY AS CHARGED AND HANDLED AS TRAITORS OF THE USA. YOU’RE BEING CHARGED, BECAUSE “CRIME DOES NOT PAY”, EVEN FOR VICE PRESIDENTS!

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